# Push Majeure
## Ma Dance Graduation
##Ingvild Bertelsen
### Introduction
This paper represents the parts of my reflection that I was able to fit into words concerning the graduation performance //Push Majeure//. It has no linear narrative, meaning you are welcome to read it in whichever order you please (except for this intro that is).
The last two years has been a journey for me, as I was able to delve into many theories and artworks. This led me down the track on topics of interest, such as the position and definition of violence in multiple societal structures and subcultures. A question that I have been taking with me, and that I will reflect closer upon later is How can we see anger and violence as a productive force? I am a strong follower of clarity and transparency, and I’ve tried to write my reflection on these complicated topics of interest as plain as possible.
As I am writing this introduction, I still don’t know how many parts, theories, and movement scores I will include in the final version of the paper. Whatever does (or doesn’t) I choose to take as a sign of (un)necessity.
Finally, before I send you of, I would like to take a minute to thank all that have helped and supported me for the last two years, you have been many, and I truly cherish every one of your inputs.
* Pause as I am mentally thanking all of you personally. *
For those of you who are not telepathic, I will now thank them all again
Ingri Fiksdal, Torunn Robstad, Bojana Cvejic, Janne-Camilla Lyster, Jonas Kure Buer, Theo Barth, Mike Sperlinger, Per Roar, Marlene Bonnesen, Emilie M Karlsen, Fie Dam Mygind, Marta Kosieradzka, Oda Olivia Ø Lindegård, Sang Hoon Lee, Sulekha Ali Omar, Ida Utvik, Yaniv Cohen, Chriz Nypan, Ruoxi Yang, Maria Wang Kvalheim, Anastasya Kizilova, Trym Lindell and Eirik Lie Hegre.
Brilliant, appreciate your patience.
Enjoy the reading!
[[Anger and Violence]]
[[Jessica Nyx/ Walking]]
[[Video Documentation]]
[[Punk MOVEment]]
[[Relation between me and the audience]]
[[Unfocus]]
[[References]]
[[Transitions]]
[[Calmness]]
[[Tiny Explosions]]
[[Music kept by score]]
[[Costume from Scraps]]
[[Doubts]]
[[Note to self]]## Anger and Violence
Throughout my life, I've observed that in Western society, discussions and debates are expected to maintain a calm tone. Showing anger is often dismissed or seen as an unfortunate outcome of a "civilized" conversation. Losing one's temper is regarded as a failure to present sound arguments and an admission of defeat. I've been told to "control my anger" from a young age, as if I wouldn't be taken seriously otherwise.
However, I can't help but wonder what happens when the topics of conversation directly affect people's lives. I've experienced and witnessed instances of sexism and other injustices that often provoke emotional reactions, yet society tends to stigmatize and discredit these reactions. The underlying narrative seems to be lose your temper, and you've lost the argument. This outlook disregards the potential value of anger in driving change.
Agnes Callard's article, "Philosophy of Anger,"(Callard, 2020) resonated with my frustrations of this narrative. She argues that anger has a place in intellectual conversations and should be allowed room for expression. According to her, anger can hold others accountable for their actions and challenge harmful societal norms. However, the focus on the consequences of anger, such as property damage during protests, often eclipses the underlying causes, such as the fight for basic human rights.
I find it peculiar that society approaches violence and aggression while distancing itself from the emotional reactions it invokes. To understand these aspects fully, I’m convinced we must acknowledge and validate people's reactions.
While physical violence is typically frowned upon, it can sometimes act as a last resort. A few months ago, I saw a video from Iran where a man punched a woman in the face for not wearing her hijab. A large crowd of people reacted by physically attacking the man who hit the woman.
Now, if this had happened in Oslo, I would say that this mob-reaction would be completely uncalled for. The point is that the situation is different in Iran, as people there have been completely oppressed by a totalitarian regime for years. They cannot turn to their authorities to report the man, as they then would most likely punish the woman for not covering her hair in the first place. Not being able to trust the authorities is giving them a reason to take things into their own hand, as well as living under those circumstances is reason enough to react this way.
On the other side, hate speech, name-calling, and racist slurs are forms of violence that attack an individual's integrity, leading to frustration and potentially violent reactions. Paradoxically, this frustration can also serve as a source of creative inspiration. Which brings me back to one of my main interests of this project: How can we see violence and aggression as a productive force?
The truth is, there has never been a structural change in the society without people fighting for it in an aggressive and violent matter. Dr Martin Luther King was protected vividly by armed people from The Black Panther Movement (Kokkos, n.d.) and to paraphrase youtuber and philosopher Contrapoints: “The events resulting in the abolition of slavery in the U.S. is not called the Great Civil Debate” (ContraPoints, 2023) The difference lies in who is performing the violent act, what is the situation surrounding this act, and (and this is important) for what reason?
I do not mean to juxtapose my experiences and frustrations on misogyny with racism, nor do I impose violence to be used as a standard solution in any way, shape, or form. Still, it was important for me to re-evaluate aspects I had on the functions of anger and violence indoctrinated within myself as I was developing //Push Majeure//.
[[Punk MOVEment]]
[[Introduction]]
[[Jessica Nyx/ Walking]]
[[Transitions]]
[[Note to self]] ## Jessica Nyx/ Walking
I tend to work with the physical boundaries of what my body and stamina can take, and this solo is not any different. I find elements of risk generally quite exciting, though it needs to be rooted in honesty and relevant to the thematics of the piece. Which led me to a broad exploration of physical scores and chorographical tasks that I developed during the creation period. Though it would be too comprehensive to explain the evolution of each one of them, I feel the need to highlight some, as to show a representation of the variety in how I work.
After a process showing in December of 2022, where I had shown different movement qualities loosely inspired by live punk performers, Janne-Camilla Lyster suggested I should try and look thoroughly at each step and take it in as set material.
One of the materials I decided to go with was a film recording of the Canadian hardcore punk band Mortality Rate, focusing on the front person Jessica Nyx.(hatesix,2016) I chose her, because she has a similar build to mine but still manages to claim the space with her strong presence. It became apparent that I had to not only remember the steps, but also embody her tonus, her agitated state and her overall “pissed off” attitude. She serves the tension in the room and feeds into the explosive energy created together with the audience.
I wanted to explore this tension and make it my own, through the steps of Nyx. I started by trying to learn her movement patterns as if it was a repertoire work. Meaning I went back and forth in the video, counting number of steps, studying how she was holding herself, where she put the weight, counting how many headbangs she did and so on.
To remember this, I had to systematically break down her movements into smaller sections, from 1a+b+c to 3, as a way for me to be able to differentiate the parts from each other.
When I had incorporated the quality of tension and the steps, I decided to create a pattern of repetitions as well as a set trajectory in the space, to take it more away from what I had seen in the film, and more into the context of the performance. I took the smaller sections that I’ve remembered and recomposed the order of them. With some trials, I ended up with a pattern of repetitions and movement that I found exciting and complementary for the space.
A strong motivation for manipulating the material in this way, was a wish to explore the space between me and the audience in a set trajectory for a longer time. As I decided that I would enter the closed space and come really close with the audience real fast, it was helpful to have such a set structure that I could rest on for my first encounter with the audience. I have talked more about this experience in the part called: The relation between me and the audience.
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/28GXNLH/Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-27-40.png" alt="Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-27-40" border="0">
[[Relation between me and the audience]]
[[Punk MOVEment]]
[[Video Documentation]]
[[Introduction]] ##Punk MOVEment
In //Push Majeure//, I wanted to explore the potential of violence and aggression as productive forces, by drawing inspiration from punk and metal subcultures*
Although I never aimed for this to be a reproduction of a so-called “punk show”, I was intrigued to work with subcultures that I have held dear for years. Giving the assosiations to violence and aggression I find in them as well, it was for me a natural direction to further my research.
There have been many ways to accademically, socially and historically define the notion of Punk and all the subcultures that followed. Hebidge claimed in “Subculture: The meaning of Style” (Hebdige, 1979) (Moore, 2004) that it’s a nessessary noise, with intent to disturb, perhaps even annoy the general public of society. In other articles, such as Postmodernism and Punk Subcultures (Moore, 2004) by Roger Moore and Punk: The do it yourself subculture by Ian P Moran (Moran, 2021)- they focus on the, you guessed it, DIY traditions of Punk. As I am writing this, I also remember a conversation I had with Roza Moshtagi about chaos, disorder, and Punks potential for being multitudes, such as:
- a mode of production
- a way to protest the status quo
- a way to communicate through styles
In short, punk as a term, as a mode of production, within fashion and as different music genres is highly diverse. Personally, I’ve been mostly occupied with what I define as the essence of punk: To riot against stagnated situations in the society and work for economical and political change.
As I started to unfold the many sides of Punk, I felt the need to take two choices simontaneously.
1: Step away from the written articles
2: Focus my my attention more specifically on a physical research.
Part of this reaction was not to get too overwhelmed, and drive my work into what I felt was about to become a flat representation of Punk. Also, I could not get over the fact that neither Moore, Moran or Hebidge are affiliated with either punk or metal. Which brings me to my second choice:
I wanted to go in more in depth with the physicality of certain (mainly) punk artists. It made sense for me to go straight for the source, by looking through videos of their live concerts and analyse the way they moved on stage. It was important for me to find a diverse pool of material with variety in sound, gender, cultural background and age. After a while I also realised I was drawn more towards artists that were not restricted to one part of the stage because of an instrument, e.g a drumset. In the end, the artists I used as inspiration for the final performance were HR from Bad Brains, Jessica Nyx from Mortality Rate and E from H09909 (pronounced Horror).
In his youth, HR had an intense physical presence, and strong athletisism on stage. I knew from the beginning that I wouldn’t be able to learn his way of moving precicely, but I wanted to incorporate his chaotic energy somehow. By focusing on the rhythmicality in his movements, I figured out a loose structure I could build a setion out from. I imagined my shoulders and arms to have the same rhythms and energy as HR, and I played with how that affected the rest of my body. Similarly, with E, I was curious about his way of pulling faces, and I wanted to play with the physical posibillities of the face in a performative setting. I have been told that I am quite expressive, but I rarely initiate my movements from it, even less so by making faces. In short, I took this oppourtunity to do so. These two segments (HR Arms/Crazy arms & Faces) became more transitions than major parts, but I have reflected shortly on them in the section called Transitions. I have gone more into detail about how I worked with Jessica Nyx’s physicality in the part Jessica Nyx/Walking, and I have also linked videos of all three in my references.
* I have written more about my understanding of these aspects in Anger and Violence
[[Anger and Violence]]
[[Jessica Nyx/ Walking]]
[[Transitions]] ## Relation Between Me and the Audience
For the last couple of years, I’ve seen a handful of performances where the audience’s been asked to stand or walk around in the space with the dancers. Works such as //The Dancing Public// by Mette Ingvartsen (Ingvartsen, 2021) and //Mass// by Rina Rosenqvist (Rosenqvist, 2022) both invites into a sense of audience interaction that engages me considerably. So, I knew that I wanted to incorporate this in Push Majeure as well. While watching these works, I was, however, noticing quite a few audience members shy away, leaving a considerably large amount of space between them and the dancers. I started wondering if perhaps this was because of an uncertainty in not knowing where to place themselves. Or, if perhaps they decided to keep a distance, almost even hide, as they find this spacing difficult to engage with.
To challenge this, I made the choice to frame the floor with chalk and guide the audience into a limited space. My thought was that I wanted to hinder their possibility of hiding from the situation I was creating. This choice was also partly inspired by own experience of going to concerts and being close to strangers in a larger crowd. I knew it would be challenging for the audience to see me, yet I was interested in not only being seen; I wanted them to sense me and each other through touch and sound as I moved us around in this space. True, I was intrigued by the idea to challenge the format and relation between the performer and the audience by keeping everyone close. However, I realised later that this border of chalk also worked as an image of authoritarian control, being that no one (except for one) went outside of them.
This might be a cultural normality, as Norwegians tend to do as they’re told, and I am curious to see what would happen if I were to go on an international tour with Push Majeure. Perhaps locals from other places would associate this mass direction with a past suppressive government that didn’t allow them much freedom to move as themselves saw fit?
This is only speculations, but it makes me wonder.
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/BLfdJb9/Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-17-53.png" alt="Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-17-53" border="0">
Though I was able to try out having an audience through open rehearsals, I didn’t manage to invite more than 8-10 people in the space. Making it a baptism by fire when it was more than 40 attending to my premier showing. Although I was anticipating a large shift of energy to occur, I did not consider how different the groups would react on each night. Some evenings they seemed to be clutching their pearls, clinging on to each other, and others they refused to move from their spot unless I physically pushed them away.
Taken aback by this reaction, I realised quickly I had to keep the structure and physicality flexible for immediate change from day to day. Meaning it was not only about me performing the dance that I had developed and practiced on throughout my MA, but also allowing/playing with the different kinaesthetic and dances that appeared in the intimate space between me and the audience. Where this came through quite clearly for me was in the Jessica NYX/ Walking score, as I had to consider that the audience were not always that willing to negotiate the space with me. Meaning that I most of the evenings had to improvise around the structures and trajectories I had set in advance. This last-minute challenge was refreshing, and it allowed me to keep things more playful as the performances went along.
[[Introduction]]
[[Jessica Nyx/ Walking]]
[[Punk MOVEment]]
[[Anger and Violence]]
[[Video Documentation]]
[[Transitions]]
[[Calmness]]
[[Tiny Explosions]]
## Unfocus
During my research on violence and anger, my friend and colleague Sulekha Ali Omar asked me how I was to find my own voice within these vast topics. I realised that one point of interest was how the consequences of aggression, violence and anger was felt on the body, or my body to be more precise.
A score I’ve chose to call Unfocus, was developed from this physical and mental state of mind that I've experienced through different aspects of shock. For me, shock is a surprise reaction and physical consequence of violent and aggressive impacts. This can include reactions to both verbal information and physical impact. Without turning this section of the text into a deep dive of my past experiences, I can say that it’s specifically those floating moments before the gravity of the situation hits that I was trying to find in my body.
I wanted to remember this sensation where it felt like I wasn’t connected with me, my focus, or my surroundings. I tried to recreate this sense by making my vision fuzzy, as to disconnect with my focus. I also worked with opposing forces of gravitational pulls, to keep me slightly off balance and disconnected from the ground. By combining the attention between these, this allowed me to delve more into the undulation that happened in my body. Finally, to give myself direction I chose to follow the lines on the floor, bringing the audience with me around the corner.
In my experience the sensation of shock only last for a couple of seconds, though it is hard to say exactly. It is as if this delay gives the body a chance to prepare itself for the consequences of the impact. Whether this impact is physical or psychological. It was important that I was true to the sensation while I practiced and performed as part of the performance. Which meant it could take different form for each night, and it was essential for me to let this develop.
[[Punk MOVEment]]
[[Anger and Violence]]
[[Introduction]]
[[Video Documentation]] ## Music kept by score
The music for //Push Majeure// was sampled and composed by Maria Wang Kvalheim, a scenographer with specified knowledge in soundscape. She has a diverse background within the fields of music, theatre and performing arts, holding a BA from the National Theatre Academy in Frederikstad.
I’ve known Maria for more than ten years, and we’ve been following each other’s artistic development ever since. Her versatile background within the field of stage performance and music made it obvious for me to include her to this project as a musician and sound artist. Her way of working with sound through the open-source program Supercollider (McCartney, n.d.) created an important dynamic to the dancing, as it was partly incorporated through her own interests and not only to accompany what happened on stage.
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/p0hnCnF/Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-18-45.png" alt="Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-18-45" border="0">
The use of Supercollider was also a conscious choice as it is a free program created for and by artists, as a comment to the ever-growing expenses implied on musicians through purchases of many audial software’s. Supercollider is developed with many of the same principles in punk fashion such as re-use, lending, as well as upcycling sounds.
Because of Maria limited schedule, we had 10 days to workshop a finished draft about a month before the premiere. Though this was not optional, we decided to try out a method of working I’d received from my supervisor Ingri Fiksdal a few weeks before:
Decide on a specific order and length for each of the scores, regardless of if you know them fully. See if this framing can help you inform the dancing in a new way.
Simply put; I identified the different scores I had worked with by naming them. I have gone into more detail about each of them scores in other parts of this text, and their names are: Headbang, Unfocus, Jessica Nyx/Walking, HR Arms/Crazy Arms, Tiny Explosions, Faces, Calmness.
I started by showing excerpts of each part to Maria, to give her the framework of the movement quality and the different dynamics before I suggested an order. By drawing up this frame for my scores in which Maria could easily relate to, she was able to create a narrative in the music without having to know the dance fully. This again gave us more time to also be creative with changing around the different parts, play with timing and so on during the days we had together.
By the end of our ten days workshop, I had figured out an order that was quite close to the one I used in the performance in March. Meaning when Maria came back just a few days before the premier, only a few things needed to be changed on her side.
The final order is as follows:
Headbang, Faces, Unfocus, Jessica Nyx/Walking, HR Arms/ Crazy arms, Calmness, Tiny Explosions.
Having Maria’s music as a carpet helped me weave together the different parts of my interest more strongly. It made me realise more what scores needed to be given more significance and which could function more as transitions. Because of the, at times, highly intensive nature of the dancing, it was a relief to have support from i.e., Maria’s sound verse to back me up.
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/zmTyDRP/Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-18-54.png" alt="Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-18-54" border="0">
[[Introduction]]
[[Transitions]]
[[Tiny Explosions]]
[[Unfocus]]
[[Calmness]] ## Costume from Scraps
Anastasya Kizilova is a MA textile student at KHiO, who reached out to our department saying she wanted to create a costume for a dance project. As an artist she is interested in making clothes from a sustainable perspective, working with methods of upcycling material, meaning taking “scraps” and adding them to different concept pieces, which is also prominent in the work of designers as Vivienne Westwood (Vivienne Westwood · V&A, n.d.) As well as the good old recycle, reuse, reduce mentality. I was excited to work with someone not only from another department, but also with knowledge in a field I knew little about. After a shorter conversation, which turned into a longer brainstorm quite quickly, it became imminent that we should work together. We agreed early on to workshop different materials by letting me try out different clothes and fabric and see how it moved together with me. She would then compose the parts together before giving it back for me to try and come with suggestions for adjustments, until we arrived at the result.
I knew I wanted to challenge myself and go with a more elaborate and perhaps even attention stealing option for once. I was curious to see how a costume that demanded something more from me could inform my movements in the overall process.
What I discovered quickly was the importance of the army boots, more specifically the weight of them. I had already established that I wanted to wear boots before I met up with Anastasya, which gave her a specific object to work her concept out from. For my sake, the boots gave me a strong sense of heaviness and grounding. It helped me anchor the movements more to the ground and allowed me to drag out the tempo of my legs in parts as Unfocused and Calmness.
The sound of the boots added an unexpected, but important amplification of my intent to be what I can only describe as Badass. The boots also added on to the overall soundscape and made sure that if the audience couldn’t see me, they could definitely hear me.
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/bF6HtvJ/Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-26-51.png" alt="Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-26-51" border="0">
Whilst workshopping with Anastasya I became intrigued with the idea of challenging the rougher expressions of the dancing by bringing in a costume with a mix of associations.
I wanted to do so, both at it was different (adding on to the attention stealing element) and I hoped it would give the audience a wider pool of associations. Not for them to only think about metal and punk bands, sort to say. I’m not sure we succeeded completely in this, however, as punk styles are also notorious for their mix of fabrics and layers.
Still, having the lavender coloured dress with an iris-coloured ribbon across one shoulder, gave almost an impression of royalty until the black vinyl belt added a new level of contradictions to the overall outcome. I needed time to get used to these multiple layers of fabric, so it was essential that I had the chance to practice with the costume over the course of the production. In the end, the main focus was for the dress to accommodate my needs, which Anastasya solved elegantly.
[[Introduction]]
[[Calmness]]
[[Unfocus]]
[[Video Documentation]] ## Note to self
A good week and a half into the writing, I found myself unable to elaborate further on the reflection, as I was second guessing my initial choice of going from a sense of urgency. I was wondering if perhaps I should treat this more as an academic body of work, since we had been taught and encouraged to log our creative process meticulously.
Which I have, kind of, except maybe not all the time.
On top of this I also have notes taken about ideas and topics I did or did not find interesting for //Push Majeure// down the line. It’s impossible to estimate how much I have written in total, and the thought of going through all of it was overwhelming. I’m a rather impulsive person who never manage to stick to one system, and though such quality has its perks, this situation is not one of them.
Being stuck in this personal purgatory of self-doubt and belated ADHD diagnosis, Bojana came with the suggestion to take examples my notes and try to see how I can relate to it now. Which I am doing as soon as I’m done procrastinating and writing these 211 words long trail of thoughts turned into a reflection upon my process of note taking.
(text-style:"underline")[It's all coming back to knee now. ]
Below I have pulled out two examples of my note writing with almost 9 months apart.
(text-style:"italic","emboss","expand")[Example 1
05.05.2022 Thoughts on chaos
The sensation of the inner chaos, or of not being in complete control/ fear of it becoming worse. It was nice to talk to Torunn today, though I realise I might haven't done as much as I should (physically).
Though I first had the shoulder and then the knee. So my own practice has been more about training in the gym.
(this is a rant, but I feel the need to write this down)
We also talked about my MA project - she thought it was a good idea to bring in Maria - whom I will talk to tomorrow.
Chaos triggers change- change also has the potential of creating chaos
- tempo
Example 2
17.02.23
Plan
- define calm part
- try out some traveling in space
- perhaps try a new order
almost Same order in new space.
Intro- chill max
- usher them into the square
Bam outside - light and music at the same time? que-lab?
Slow + faces
unfocus around.
- about 10-12 min
Jess walk in
- about 5
Arms close to Maria
- about 2
calm/ reset - blue lights
- about 4
focus/ unfocus / tiny explosions + repeat beginning for end
- 5/7 min
about 30 min total
]
Obviously, the latter example shows a clearer direction in this work as many aspects of my project had fallen into place. Thanks to the fact that I’ve had the opportunity to work consistently with it. I am, however, also reminded about my weary state of mind and emotion in relation to my then serious knee injury.
Being diagnosed with a bone bruise and a tear in my cartilage below my patella in March 2022, I was forced to re-evaluate my movement habits on a universal scale. Though I was in the middle of a master’s program, it was challenging to concentrate my time and energy on much else than the recovery, as I was scared the injury could be permanent. I managed after a while to include my experience in my creative process, which led to my artistic writing about the relation between violence and safety in September 2022:
.. I would say that the removal of a foundation of social, physical and/or economical sense of safety is an violent act. Even when it’s not inteded.
By this I mean that the phenomenon of safety, or lack thereof, is highly complex. To not feel safe can feel like an act of violence in itself, as well as the intention of violence will remove the sense of safety.
At the same time … violence could also be used as a tool to make an uproar by the oppressed- to protest- about a current situation where the lack of safety is also prominent.
Looking back on it now, I doubt I would have reached this conclusion if I hadn´t logged this experience of being injured. Though I initially dreaded the thought of scanning through my log, I realise now that much of it was written with an urgent need to put my general state of mind and body into words. I might not be able to pin down exactly when it became clear for me to indulge into e.g., punk, but I can see an overall development between the lines of my notations. This log also works as a proof to the fact that I have been more productive than what I can remember, which I truly appreciate.
[[Introduction]]
[[Unfocus]]
[[Anger and Violence]]
[[Punk MOVEment]]
# Doubts
I understand how easy it is to think that focusing on one’s own doubts and hesitations, while writing a reflection paper is contra productive. But the truth is that they have been there, and they’ve informed my work and process notably. By shining light on them, I hope to understand more about my habits of thoughts. Perhaps also this could work as a motivator for others to look at some parts in their work they tend to shy away from?
//There are many different aspects that I can talk about, which I find quite overwhelming regarding the performance and the work before this. One part of me wants to go into different scores and the physical development of the material, however, I also feel the need to explain why the material is the way it is. Why is never an easy question, but it is for me perhaps the most important.
The whole process and the performances feel rather distanced, sort of as it could just as well have happened six months ago, rather than just over a week.
Perhaps it’s because I tend to quickly skip ahead to new things, not leaving much room for reflection.
I’m not saying I’m a perfectionist, but I rarely feel pleased about what I make, so to not beat myself up about it too much, I remove myself as to almost amputate my product of work from my reaction to said work.
When people ask me “How did it go” my instinct is to say “I don’t know”
And I know it’s not true
It went well//
What you see written in italic are some of the first sentences I wrote down as I started this reflection about a month ago. During an initial meeting with Bojana and my fellow MA students, she encouraged us to write this process out from where we were in this moment. Which I did, allowing the thoughts to flow without filtering them. Now, this moment has come and past many times over as I am writing this with less than 18 hours left for my final deadline. However, I wanted to take time and recognise that my doubts have made me reconsider many different options of how to write this reflection. It also helps me realise that this reflection paper has also been changing, and evolving as I do not resonate with these thoughts anymore.
[[Introduction]]
## References
Callard, A. (2020, April 16). The Philosophy of Anger—Boston Review.
https://www.bostonreview.net/forum/agnes-callard-philosophy-anger/
ContraPoints (Director). (2023, April 18). The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling | ContraPoints.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmT0i0xG6zg
H09909 2018 (Director). (2018, August 19). Ho99o9—Live at Lowlands 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOpTxNxGi0s
(hatesix) Mortality Rate—May 28, 2016.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzN-bYrf8JE
Hebdige, D. (1979). Subculture: The meaning of style. Routledge.
Ingvartsen, M. (2021). The Dancing Puplic. Mette Ingvartsen. https://www.metteingvartsen.net
Kokkos, S. (n.d.). Black Panthers and Martin Luther King: The fight for civil rights. Retrieved 23 September 2022, from https://www.academia.edu/29336949/Black_Panthers_and_Martin_Luther_King_The_fight_for_civil_rights
McCartney, J. (n.d.). Supercollider. SuperCollider. Retrieved 16 May 2023, from https://supercollider.github.io/
Moore, R. (2004). Postmodernism and Punk Subculture: Cultures of Authenticity and Deconstruction. The Communication Review, 7(3), 305–327. https://doi.org/10.1080/10714420490492238
Moran, I. P. (2021). Punk: The Do-It-Yourself Subculture. 9.
Rosenqvist, R. (2022). Mass. Dansens Hus. https://www.dansenshus.com/forestillinger/mass
Vivienne Westwood · V&A. (n.d.). Victoria and Albert Museum. Retrieved 16 May 2023, from https://www.vam.ac.uk/collections/vivienne-westwood
[[Introduction]]
[[Anger and Violence]]
[[Jessica Nyx/ Walking]]
[[Transitions]]
[[Calmness]]
[[Punk MOVEment]]
[[Tiny Explosions]]
[[Music kept by score]]
[[Costume from Scraps]]
[[Relation between me and the audience]]# Transitions
In this part of the text, I will try to contextualise some of my shorter physical explorations I shared with the audience in Push Majeure. Though they share some similarities with the scores Unfocus, Jessica Nyx/Walking, Tiny Explosions and Calmness, they serve more as transitions. By this I mean that they are less layered, and I spend less time with them on stage moving from one thing to the next.
''Headbang''
One of the most well-known movements in a punk or metal concert is the headbang. People swinging their head and hair vigorously in rhythm with the music, has over the year become kind of a trademark. However, I was curious to see how the effect of this movement would change if I were to repeat it excessively. What I noticed was how the function and meaning of the movement seemed to change and become something else after I had repeated them for a long stretch. Like how when you repeat a word too many times, the meaning of the word almost evaporates and becomes something new.
It was important for me to be able to keep the section as sustainable as possible, as not to strain my neck too much. Which is why I allowed myself to gradually go from a repetitive headbang to a repetitive arm movement. Another helpful method was to test out different techniques and relying on having the swing being initiated different places of the spine (not only the neck) I was able to distribute the force impact more evenly. I decided for this part to be first in the final dance performance, as I liked the shift and element of surprise it had from my casual introduction. Starting off with this high intensity also worked as a foreshadowing for scores such as Tiny Explosions.
''HR arms / Crazy arms''
In the segment ''Punk MOVEment'' I mention how, as young, the artist HR had a vigorous and athletic dance while performing with his band Bad Brains. He would shake his whole body and throw himself around in a pattern too chaotic to follow. And every now and then he would do a backflip from a (kind of) static position. I was intrigued by this high level of energy, but it was important for me not to try and copy his movements. Which is where I came up with the idea to incorporate his energy and rhythm in, mainly, my arms. Developing this I worked on having multiple points of initiations for the arm movements. It could shoot from different parts of the arm like finger, wrist, or elbow. Or it could come as a wave from the shoulder, back or legs. These initiations worked as impulses in a random order as possible, as an attempt for me to constantly surprise myself. In the end I created a transition where I was playing with the image of not being able to foresee what my arms would do and anchor myself in the space by walking a clear direction. Like the other transitions, I realise that this part also has an element of uncertainty to it. By this I mean it was impossible for me to plan how it would look in the end, though it became evident that I was searching for a specific tension and level of energy while performing. I wanted to push my endurance even further in hope to keep the audience on their toes. Which I think I managed.
''Faces''
Like I mentioned in ''Punk MOVEment'' I was reminded of the flexibility of the face, by punk artist E (H09909). Who, in between songs, decided to go all the way up to the camera and pull obscure faces, using his hands to pull the skin (H09909 2018, 2018). Though one could associate his way of making these faces with that of childish behaviour, I did connect it to what I identify as a performative aspect within punk and metal: To make faces, and manic expressions gives out a sense of unpredictable behaviour which the audience might find uncomfortable or intriguing. In Push Majeure I decided to do this transition rather early with the attempt to give myself and the audience a sense that anything could happen during our time together.
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/DpQCfpq/Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-18-05.png" alt="Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-18-05" border="0">
It became clear to me that it was an interesting way for me to connect with the audience, as I challenged myself to seek eye contact with them during the performance.
This transition informed my movements differently as I initiated them from my face. I noticed it helped me demand immediate attention, and at the same time I couldn’t help but to feel somewhat silly doing them. This element of light heartedness was a welcoming reminder of not to take things too seriously.
[[Introduction]]
[[Music kept by score]]
[[Jessica Nyx/ Walking]]
[[Punk MOVEment]]
[[Video Documentation]] # Calmness
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/4S7vXj7/Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-18-19.png" alt="Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-18-19" border="0">
My initial motivation for this score was to create a contrast in tempo and intensity to what was becoming a physically quite demanding piece. By bringing the focus in and slowing my movements down I tried to create a sense of calmness in me and my surroundings. At first this score was about exploring different spiralling positions in my body whilst having a calm demeanour.
I realised at one point my spirals had turned more into twists, which led to my movements becoming too one sided. I had a feeling, I was re-enacting a person being overtaken by an invisible force, forever bent down. To solve this, I began to investigate how I would move if I were to take over the function (or role) of this invisible force.
Over time, I established more words to the two counterparts such as above and below, instigator and protector, out and in. This gave clearer images for me to work with to figure out what lies in between them. An example for how I would work with it could be:
(text-style:"italic","emboss")[I’m moulding myself slowly into an aggressive stance, with my arm pulling back and closing my fist ready to strike. Before I end up in the final position, I will let that image go and allow a new moulding to take my body into another direction. Which is opening the closed fist and move it towards the front of my face, as I turn away from something.
]
I would play with these gentle shifts that never truly arrived at a full stop.
Even though this score was heavily influenced by images of violence and aggression, I didn’t want to reproduce or re-enact positions of them. Meaning I was not interested in creating poses or situations for the audience to recognise, but rather to experiment with how smooth I could go from one to another.
My major challenge with this part was to maintain the slowness of the movements, and the overall duration. In the end I had to tell myself to count slowly and wait for my heart rate to calm down before I even started to move. Finding myself in between movements, never arriving or stopping didn’t really help either, as I tend to accelerate easily. Regardless of my speedy tendencies, this score became a lifeline, as the general intensity and endurance level for the performance was high. It also gave me and the audience a chance to digest what had happened before, and to have a moment of rest before diving into the last part of the solo.
Looking back at the filmed material, I question whether I gave myself and the audience enough time to indulge truly in this score.
[[Introduction]]
[[Relation between me and the audience]]
[[Unfocus]]
[[Video Documentation]]
[[Costume from Scraps]] # Tiny Explosions <img src="https://i.ibb.co/pRzK6xS/Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-18-30.png" alt="Skjermbilde-2023-05-18-kl-11-18-30" border="0">
In the score tiny explosions, I try to build up energy to a point where I want to dance out fully in big movements. I do this by playing with tension and release of movements through the spine, elbows, knees, and other parts of the body in a fast tempo. I haven’t been able to come with a logic explanation to why this makes me energised. Still, I think this shift of tension, attention and movement direction engages some form of physiological response in my body. Dear I say adrenaline?
Before I let myself be taken over by this energy, I contain it, and only allow small explosive movements to happen instead. They can happen from any part of the body, and more can happen at once in different directions, which means I release many sparks of quick and complicated patterns. Having the energy contained feeds back into my initial excitement as I am again playing with the tension and release of movements through the body.
This score can easily act like a pressure cooker, meaning I must manage how much explosive energy I release when, in order not to exhaust myself too quickly. To help me with this, I established a trajectory in the space for the first durational section of it. Here I also incorporated pauses, and some simple repetitions to stretch out the time.
In the end, if the pressure was too big, I did allow myself the “treat” of some larger movements.
As the performance week moved along, I found it increasingly challenging to keep up with what this score demands. The feedback loop of containing and releasing energy works well in theory. However, I am but a human with other abilities and needs, which meant this part felt genuinely different from one night to the next. While I was contemplating on how to solve this, someone told me they found this part of my trying very engaging. In the end, it was not about “managing or failing” the score, but more about being in the difficulty together with the audience.
[[Introduction]]
[[Anger and Violence]]
[[Relation between me and the audience]]
[[Video Documentation]]
# Looking Back and Moving forward
I know I want to keep the work of Push Majeure alive for as long as possible, and in many ways writing this reflection has helped me doing just that. I’m not shy to admit my struggles with writing in general, but insisting on being with the work for a longer time post performance has allowed me to appreciate parts of the process I wouldn’t have done otherwise.
This MA program has given me a unique opportunity to find my voice and explore my artistic interests deeper as a dancer. I am convinced that MA Dance benefits the environment, as it provides a stronger platform for conversations, explorations and research about dance and movement in the arts field in general.
For me, it was essential that we had the opportunity to make our own graduation piece, to delve into our personal research and establish a stronger integrity for our artistic interests. If we are to reconsider the traditional hierarchy between choreography and dance, I will keep on insisting on this space for and with the dance.
As I’m writing these words, I can’t help but to feel sentimental and grateful for what I have learned and been given for the last two years during my time at KHiO. Fie, Marlene, Emilie, Marta, Oda, Ida, Sang, Yaniv, Sulekha, Chriz, and Ruoxi I am over the moon that I had the privilege to share this journey with all of you.
In the end I will go against all my instincts and thank myself. I have worked very hard, I am proud of what I’ve accomplished, and I can’t wait to see where this will take me next.
Thank you for your time.
[[Introduction]]
# Video Documentations
Full video by Yaniv Cohen
<div style="padding:56.25% 0 0 0;position:relative;"><iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/824058283?h=06b85ee3e2&badge=0&autopause=0&player_id=0&app_id=58479" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; fullscreen; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;" title="Push Majeure full"></iframe></div><script src="https://player.vimeo.com/api/player.js"></script>
(text-style:"superscript")[code: PushMaj2023]
General rehersal
<div style="padding:56.25% 0 0 0;position:relative;"><iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/812772179?h=5d853ac058&badge=0&autopause=0&player_id=0&app_id=58479" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; fullscreen; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;" title="Push Majeure General Raw"></iframe></div><script src="https://player.vimeo.com/api/player.js"></script>
(text-style:"superscript")[code: Push2023]
[[Anger and Violence]]
[[Introduction]]
[[Jessica Nyx/ Walking]]
[[Calmness]]
[[Transitions]]
[[Tiny Explosions]]
[[Music kept by score]]
[[Costume from Scraps]]